When Healing Makes You Less Palatable

There is a quiet expectation, woven through much of the way we talk about mental health, that healing should look soft. That as we grow, we become calmer, more agreeable, easier to be around. The image is one of gentle self-awareness, of someone who has “done the work” and now moves through the world with a polished steadiness. However, for many people, particularly those of us who exist outside of normative identities, this expectation can feel inaccurate and actively alienating.